what do you think of these jokes?
How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. On all your cheque stubs, write ‘For Marijuana’.
3. Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
5. Sing along at the Opera.
6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I Won! I Won!’
7. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’
8. Tell your children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.’
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
9. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
Vocabulary: Female vs. Male
THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car’s hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. male: Playing football without a helmet.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.
BUTT (but) n female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look bigger.” male: What you slap when someone’s scored a touchdown, home run, or goal. Also good for mooning.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n female: A desire to get married and raise a family. male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. female: A good movie, concert, play or book. male: Anything that can be done while drinking
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion. male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another. male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.