How do I not become my father?
I’m feeling kind of down. I’m feeling kind of lonely. When I get lonely I start thinking I’m going to be this way forever. lol. My dad used to do drugs. He used to deal them, and He smokes marijuana every day at 60. He still lives with me. My aunt was into the same thing. She died of hepatitis C earlier this year. My other aunt is an alcoholic. I think my grandfather was one too.
I’m in college. I used to be chemical engineering, and now, I’m pre-pharmacy(ironically). My school advisor actually says I have a chance. I have a 3.5 GPA. I always feel like I’m a failure, though. I will never be anything. I feel like I shouldn’t fight what I already am. I’m afraid it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Every time I get lonely, I just want one have a drink. I think… why not smoke. Why have I put off doing it this long?! There’s nothing wrong with it, and when I drink.. I’m just so happy. I don’t do it often, but when I do it feels good. I’ve only told a few friends my fears. My mom wouldn’t understand. My mom and dad are still together, and although she doesn’t agree with what my dad does, she accepts it. I know BOTH love me. They tell me daily. My mom and dad both support me financially, but I still have this fear.
Thank y’all! 🙂
You have a choice to not become your father or like him. Sounds like you are on the right road now to being your own man. And it sounds like you have chosen well. Sounds like it may do you some good to have a councilor to go talk with. Good luck,I did not want to be like my Dad and I am not!
First off you are NOT your parents so that fear is unfounded.
Secondly your parents must have done something right to produce you I mean think about it for a second they are still there and care for you in their own way.
There is nothing wrong with a little drink once every purple moon but as someone who is in the learning mode I would think that having a clear mind more than the social satisfaction would rank of higher importance at this stage of your life.
A modicum of fear can be useful prevention.
You sound like you are doing well under the circumstances.
I have a father that smokes bud every day, and is an alcoholic. I also have the genetic predisposition for alcoholism (it is VERY easy for me to lose control when I start drinking and get buzzed) but honestly the biggest reason I don’t drink, is that I see my father, and the destruction it has done to him and his mother. I want to break the chain; I hope my sister does not continue it.
There are two kinds of people in this world, those who learn from mistakes, regardless of it is their own, or loved one’s, and then there are people that give in and acquiesce to the destructive lifestyle. Even knowing that alcoholism runs in your family is enough to either allow you to abstain from drinking…or give in to it. I hope that you are strong enough to follow down the path that you are currently on.
Just ask yourself – do you want to become like your father? Smoke your life away and end up raising a child around your bad habits which might be instilled upon them? People use their parents as examples. It just depends on how you choose to grow from it. You can see your parents doing bad things and tell yourself that because your parents do it, it’s okay for you to do it too. You want to give yourself that excuse. Or you can look at your parents’ bad habits and use that as an example of why you shouldn’t follow their habits.
We live in a modern world so you have more options. i have a very good friend at work who is a credit to the way I have lived my life. A few years ago during break I noticed a change. He wasn’t joking and laughing the way he was before matter of fact he would often be sleeping during lunch and break.He all of a sudden disappeared for about a month. When he returned he was back to himself laughing. joking staying awake. He told anyone who asked looked them right in the eye and told them the doctors told him he was suffering from depression. He told me about how he felt before treatment and what he said was much like what you said. The doctor prescribed these pills that don’t impair him but they do take away his feelings of being a failure and fits of crying unable to cope.I’m far from a doctor or a 3.5 but I bet you are suffering from depression and I believe the right doctor can help.He thought he was over it about a year ago and stopped taking the pills but the feelings returned. He didn’t like that but he can deal with it and be happy. a self fulfilling prophecy reminds me of pre determined destiny and I refuse to believe in such things. Everybody needs help at times and I know you can beat it. I don’t know your mom but she may understand more than you think after all she has been with your dad a long time and I don’t think you agree with what your dad does either. Perhaps you should talk to your school ad visor or counsler. Don’t be ashamed you have not done anything wrong and you are strong for facing your problems good luck my friend