I Hallucinated Under the Influence of Marijuana – What Does This Say About my Mental Health?
The first time I tried marijuana I needed to take a large amount. It was Northern Lights if I remember correctly. I took many drags from a pipe, one entire steamroller, and two gravity bongs. When I did, the effect took about five or ten minuets to take effect. When it did, I found myself starting to panic. I couldn’t stop thinking of everything around me, and how my father was going to find me and find out what I did. Gradually, I got dizzier and dizzier, and as this happened my vision got worse and worse, almost like a strobe light. My whole body felt numb and pins and needle-y. I wasn’t expecting this, and I let it overcome me. Soon, I thought I was in a black hole. Everything around me was spinning, and I was screaming and yelling about trying to get out. I don’t really remember much, because to me my vision was going back and forth between blacking out and coming back to a world melting together. I could kind of tell what was going on, but I thought I was dead and I was watching everyone around me have to deal with my body (they were all panicing). I thought I was in hell, and this was my punishment. Everything hurt, and the whole time it felt as though my body was folding in on itself (like a black hole). It was almost like I could see every memory all at the same time, and the scene would blend to my thought and back to what was going on. It took me a while to come back to myself, and even when I did mentally, it took a few hours for my sense of touch and vision to fully right itself.
I thought this might have been a first time thing. Maybe because I took so much. So, I tried it again. I doubted the same thing would happen twice in a row. Most people have different experiences when they take drugs. I tried taking hits from pipes, and while the people around me would get high out of their mind, I would take just as much or even more and I would feel nothing. One day I took a hit out of a water bong with pot laced with K2 Summit. That one hit took me back to that exact feeling in a minuet, maybe less. I knew what it was this time, so I could hold myself back from freaking out, but it took all the energy I had in myself. I needed to keep talking, keep my mind working on something earthly in order to keep myself from thinking that what was around me wasn’t real. The panicing took about two hours to go away, but my vision and touch was bad for five or so hours after. I had a peroid of being totally back to normal (maybe about two hours or so) and then all of the sudden it came back a little in my sense of touch, and stayed with me for days. I mean that. And that makes no sense. And for months after every time I would discuss things like reality not being real I would get nervous and start to feel dizzy because I would think back to those times.
I kind of worry that this is sort of a vision of how close I am to the line of insanity. I don’t know what to make of this.