Please, please can somebody help me!?
Ok everyone.. here’s the jist of it:
I’ve been dealing with some severe mental issues in the past couple of months. This ALL started when I smoked Marijuana for the first time, and I smoked quite a bit of it, enough for me to nearly lose all conciousness.
I’m 21 years old, have had NO previous mental or physical health problems in the PAST, but I definitely know that something is WRONG!!!
After smoking that marijuana, I freaked out, had a severe panic attack, and thought that I was going to die from heart attack or something. It was so bad that I had EMS come out to check me out, and they all said that I was fine!!!
For the past few months, I’ve seen them at least once or twice per week, because I get to feeling like I’m dying, going to die, feel slight chest/arm pressure pains, forget where i’m at, what i’m doing, or who I am momentarilly (often at minutes at a time, or minutes in frequency for shorter periods of time). I’ve had 4 visits to the ER, have had extensive checks with blood work, had one CT scan, have had my EKG/ECG readings reported by doctor after doctor to be perfectly FINE, have had X-Rays read on my chest to be perfect. I have also had tilt testing, which also came back fine. My blood saturation, my breathing, my blood pressure, pulse, and everything else BASIC is perfectly fine!!
By the way, I just came back from my 4th ER visit 3 days ago.
Here’s what’s really wrong with me, people.
Every few seconds, I feel either “sudden forgetfulness” and “feelings of detachment from reality”.
I often experience depersonalization, derealization, obsessive fear of “sudden death”, obsessive fear of death itself, obsessiveness about my own personal health, constantly checking myself or having my wife (who is a CNA. I’m not too sure how credible CNAs are, please feel free to fill me in on how ‘medically inclined’ they really are) check me out.
I often feel dizzy, clumsy, weak, anxious for no reason, feels like my entire body is moving in weird or odd ways incontrollably (mainly in a bizarre “up and down” or “side to side” direction) which also usually happens when i’m standing up (this symptom increases while i’m urinating).
I’m not anxious or panicking about anything except for my own personal health. It feels like something is taking over my body, or i’m just going crazy.
It’s affecting my relationship with my fiance. She can’t seem to understand that I’m feeling like something is utterly wrong (because I’M the one experiencing it), even though she disagrees that anything is wrong with me at all.
Because of all of this, I have been getting more and more depressed, and have lately been thinking about death in a perspective that I would have never thought about it before… I’ve been thinking lately, “What if i’m better off dead anyways? Maybe this is a sign?”
I know that something is not right with me!!! 🙁
Since the visit to the ER, I have been perscribed Paxil, which only costed $4.00 (USD) at the Wal-Mart Pharmacy. I don’t feel that this medication is helping all that much.
Keep in mind people, I am very poor, just got a new apartment, have no furniture yet, and my wife and I have been struggling the last few years in this “Great Recession” in the States.
I don’t have the money to even afford insurance, AT ALL. I can not even afford to buy hot dogs, so please, don’t recommend me to go get insurance, or go see someone that won’t even give me the time of day because I can’t even afford the co-pay.
So, with that been said…
Can someone PLEASE help me!?!?!