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Should I stay or should I leave my wife and stepkids?

Should I stay or should I leave my wife and stepkids?

Should I stay with my wife and kids in the cold Midwest or go by myself to Florida?
My wife and I have been married for a three years. We have been together for six years. She has two young children from a previous marriage. Ages 7 and 12. The kids get on my nerves a lot, but I do love them. My wife and I have had a lot of issues over the past year. The problems caused by me and include: talking with other women online behind her back which include a woman who my wife had a threesome with at a party and emailing an ex-fiancee, smoking marijuana, and talking about moving to Florida even after she had told me she would never leave our home because her family lives here.

I believe my desire to move to Florida is the biggest issue currently. Right now I own a home in the Midwest (mortgage is under my name only) where we get 70+ inches of snow every year. I have recently been offered a job in Tampa which is where I have always wanted to live. The job pays 9K more than I make right now. I do like my present job (in the same field) but the job in Florida appears to offer more challenging work which would boost my career. I have been vacationing in Florida for years and I have a brother who lives there. When I was drunk recently I told my wife that I was moving to Tampa and I wanted her and the kids to come too. She got very angry and told me to go. She said she wasn’t moving because her family is here and she doesn’t want to leave them. That is the first big issue that has occured recently. The second thing I did to hurt our marriage further was to begin smoking a “legal” pot that is sold at head shops. I smoked some last week and became so high I couldn’t even stand up. My wife knew something was wrong with me so I told her what I did. She then kicked me out of the house. After a week of living apart she has agreed to give me one last chance. We have been going to marriage counseling together (twice) and I have been attending NA meetings.

My question is this. Should I stay here in the Midwest and try to make my marriage work or should I move to Tampa? The marriage counseling seems to be helping me more than my wife. She feels that the counselor is on my side and making excuses for my bad behaviors. She has said that I should go by myself and there is no reason for her to go there. She did however say that she will continue going. She also says that I open up to the counselor and people at NA meetings, but I don’t talk to her. Lately I have been trying to be more open and honest with her. The problem is though that the more I tell her the more mad she gets and the less she trusts me when I tell her about things I have done in the past. For the past week I have been a good guy with no drugs, lying etc. As I said I am trying now, but it may be too late.

I have reservations about leaving. They include: losing a wife I love, losing the only kids I have ever known as my own, having to most likely foreclose on my house, possibly taking a job that appears better but in reality is not. My desire to leave comes from the beliefs that: my marriage may be too far eroded to save, I hate the gloomy Winters here, more opportunity in the new job. Please provide any advice that may be helpful. Thanks.

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